That Stupid List
by DarkMindedThinker89
Summary: Kyle is down about the "Cutest boys" list, created by the girls in their class. When nothing can cheer Kyle up about feeling like he's the ugliest boy, can Stan help him feel better? Stan is, after-all, his best friend. T to be safe for language. R&R


**A/N: It has been sooo long since I have written a South Park story! I was thinking about something to write for a really long time. Then I remembered "The List". The episode where the girls make a list of the boys in order of how cute they are. If you haven't watched the episode, you shouldn't be too lost. I'm sure a great majority of people have seen the episode. **

**But this one-shot I am writing actually takes place towards the beginning of the episode. I'm sure if this were to continue for some reason (if people ask) I would change how most of the episode went about, but this is just about one specific point in the episode. So please enjoy the random fluff! (It's not too fluffy, maybe.)**

**PimpedOutGreenEars, I'd like to thank you so much for being the beta reader for this story! You are an awesome help!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.**

**That Stupid List**

**Kyle's POV**

How could everything that had transpired today have happened? I was lying in my bed staring at my ceiling thinking it over and over again. Cartman was above me on the list for the 'cute boys'. It was all the boys in our class from cutest to ugliest. I was last. I was, not that fat-ass. It didn't make sense. I was the ugliest?

It didn't help that when I came home and told my family, it was obvious they all thought I was ugly too! To make matters even worse, Cartman decided to harass me no longer than an hour ago. He knocked on my window, shoving it in my face that he was higher than me on the list, that he was 'hotter' than me. How could people even think that?

I frowned. Normally I wouldn't let things Cartman said bother me, but this was different. I didn't think all the girls would think I was ugly. This was bringing me down more than I even wanted to admit. I mean Stan was number three, Kenny number seven, even Butters was number eleven. Even though Stan had tried to comfort me earlier and failed, part of me decided my only option to feel any better was to call him.

I sighed, looking over at the clock and seeing that it was 11pm. I hoped to God that he was by the phone. His parents would probably be pissed I was calling so late. I made my way to our house phone on the first floor, happy that everyone was asleep. With my fingers crossed I dialed his number.

It rang once and I grew anxious, wondering if I should just hang up. It rang for the second time and I panicked, thinking I would get yelled at by his mom or dad. When the phone rang a third time I was about to pull it away from my face to hang up because I was having second thoughts about the call when someone answered.

"Hello?" I was relieved to hear Stan's voice. He sounded confused, groggy, and irritated that he was woken up? Maybe he was just tired.

"Hey dude." I could hear how down I sounded in my voice and knew Stan would be able to tell instantly.

"Kyle? Why are you calling so late?" I began to feel guilty for calling at eleven at night.

"I," I paused for a moment, thinking of the best way to word what was going through my mind. "I can't get that stupid fuckin' list out of my head. How Stan? How could I be the ugliest?" I heard my voice crack from being upset, but I wasn't anywhere near crying. Stan was dead silent on the other end.

"Dude why do you care what a bunch of girls think? That list _is_ stupid. It probably isn't even right." Stan tried again to comfort me. I could hear a small sigh leave his mouth. The guilt grew.

"I care because I never thought I was ugly dude...Or that Cartman would make it higher on the list than me." I sighed. Part of me wished he could sneak over here. If I asked would he come over? It's not like it's that hard to sneak out of our houses.

"I know Cartman should be last dude. I'm telling you, it probably isn't right." Stan tried to sound sure of himself. He was such a good friend. I wouldn't have been able to call anyone else. I'm sure everyone else is making fun of me. I also didn't really want to call anyone else.

"Stan...Can you try to sneak over for a little? I know we have school tomorrow so I won't keep you here too late." I chuckled lightly, trying still to feel better. Though it wasn't working at all.

"Let me see if everyone's sleeping." He laughed lightly. It made me genuinely smile. "I'll be right back." I heard the sound of the phone being set down. It was quiet for a few minutes until I heard his voice again.

"Yeah, they're all asleep. I'll leave here in a few minutes. Be there soon. Wait for me by the back door. That's the way I'm going to go." He was whispering and I was glad I could still hear him okay. I assumed he was whispering just to be more careful since he was sneaking out.

"Alright, see you soon. Bye dude...And thanks." My thanks sounded sincere and I knew he could tell.

"No problem dude. You'd do the same. See ya. Bye." With that he hung up. I started to patiently wait though time could not have gone slower to me. The fifteen minutes it took him to get to my house felt like hours.

I was watching out the window of the back door, waiting for him to come into view. A smile appeared on my face as soon as I saw him approach my house. I opened the door as quietly as physically possible, glad that I didn't hear any shuffling around upstairs.

"Hey." I opened the door far enough for him to slide in.

"Hi." He smiled at me. It was a nice feeling to see that right now.

"Be quiet, but we can sit in the living room." I walked towards the couch that was in my living room. Stan followed and I heard him unzip his coat, guessing he took it off. I sat down, happy he sat only a few inches away.

"Alright, Kyle," Stan turned his face to look at me almost instantly. "I don't see why you're letting this bother you so much dude. Who cares what everyone else thinks? It should only matter what you think, right?"

"I know I shouldn't care but I just can't help it Stan. You can't understand. You can say it's not a big deal because you were number three." I knew I sounded upset. It's not like it was Stan's fault he was rated number three. He just wasn't ugly. He was, luckily for himself, hot.

"I don't think I should've been number three," He shook his head at me. I could see the truth in his face. "And I also don't think that you should have been put last on the list. You should've been up there Kyle, past Butters and Kenny." He reached out, patting my shoulder sympathetically. "You should have even been past me." He offered a soft smile to me for further comfort.

He had placed his hand on my shoulder many times before but for some reason a chill shot through me. He thought I should be up higher on the list? Higher than number three? My heart started to pound. I wasn't sure what was going on. Why he was making me feel like this.

"If I was supposed to be don't you think they would have put me there? I mean, technically you're considered hot so you have nothing to be upset about." I crossed my arms, slouching down into the back of the couch. Stan rubbed my shoulder lightly again, ending it with a pat, still not moving his hand.

"Do you think you should have been at the bottom of the list?" He looked me in the eyes, honestly questioning me.

"No..." My voice was quiet.

"And I don't either. Isn't that all that should matter?" He smiled reassuringly at me, though it wasn't enough.

"But you don't have a real opinion on if I am hot or not dude. You saying it because you're trying to make me feel better and girls thinking it is totally different." I looked over at him finally, our eyes meeting.

"Dude, you're attractive. I'm not saying it just to make you feel better. Just chill out. I'll check into the list thing tomorrow with Wendy, okay?" His smile grew larger than before, and I was forced to smile back.

"I'm attractive?" Was the only thing I could manage for some reason. It was the one thing I was trying to avoid saying. A blush instantly tinted my cheeks. I was happy the light in the room was dim.

"Well." He looked speechless, as if realizing what he had really said. He bit his bottom lip and looked away towards the ground. "Yeah, you're attractive dude. I wouldn't lie to you." I could feel my face grow hotter. As I actually focused more on Stan's face, it seemed as though I wasn't the only one blushing. I didn't feel as stupid then. But this was an awkward conversation between guy friends.

"You should have been number one Stan." I blurted out while I was looking him in the eyes. I wish I could have smacked myself, and I was relieved no one else was in the room.

"That's a lie." He smiled, laughing lightly.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, our tones lightening up greatly.

"Because I should have been number two. I am definitely not the hottest kid in our class. At least I can admit it." He laughed a little more, trying to be quiet. His body had managed to shift closer to mine. With our faces inches apart he whispered to me encouragingly, "You should be number one." Stan's smile was soft and genuine as he spoke.

And for reasons I was unsure of, I leaned forward, placing a small kiss on his cheek. I instantly backed up, unsure of how he would react because such a thing had never happened and shouldn't have happened. I really don't know what came over me. But he didn't seem to mind. Stan's response was a smile and a kiss to my cheek.

"Thanks Stan." I reached out, placing my hand on his shoulder. I leaned my forehead against his and we stayed silent for several minutes.

"Dude..." His eyes stayed locked on mine as a look of confusion appeared across his features. "Part of me feels gay for this." He admitted, however didn't move or make an attempt to.

"Me too...But we aren't, so it isn't." I said slowly. I wasn't sure how to respond to what he said. I did think the same thing, but it wasn't bothering me in the least. I felt comfortable like this with Stan.

"I'm comfortable." He looked at me seriously.

"Me too. I don't want to move." I let out a small sigh. "Does this make us a little gay?" I looked at him curiously.

"We'll make sure nobody finds out about this so no one can think that." That wasn't a direct answer. Something about Stan's answer seemed totally off. Nobody would have found out. Neither of us would have told anyone.

"Stan?" I waited patiently for his answer.

"Yeah?" He began to relax completely in the position we were in.

"You should stay as late as you can." I chuckled lightly.

"It's only like midnight. I'll stay as late as I can." He chuckled as well. This was making me feel amazing.

"I would've been sad if you would've left." I said softly, pressing my lips lightly to his for a second. Was I feeling this way because I thought Stan was attractive? 'Cause he was the only person that could really make me feel better? I wasn't sure what it was. I wasn't sure why I had kissed him.

"Kyle?" He said after an awkward silence.

"I'm sorry." I said without thinking, only looking down.

"Kyle." He said a little more sternly. This caused me to look into his eyes. I regretted it.

"Stan I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry. Maybe you should leave." I tried to stand, but was quickly stopped.

"I don't want to leave." Stan grabbed my arm to stop me. He held onto it lightly. He paused for a second, as if hesitant about what he was about to say. "I'm sure a lot of friends try this kind of stuff." He tried to make me feel better again.

"I guess so." I looked back down for a minute, thinking if I should ask him if he wanted to do it again. I know I did. I finally gained the courage to open my mouth to ask the question. "Do you want to try again?" I was nervous, I couldn't deny it. The feeling quickly disappeared.

"Yeah." He smiled, leaning in to place his lips again mine. This kiss was longer than a second. It was tender and sweet. It was my first legitimate kiss, not counting the one second kiss I gave to Stan earlier.

It lasted almost fifteen seconds and when we looked at each other we were both blushing, smiles on our faces.

"Wendy NEVER finds out." He said and we both laughed.

At that moment I realized how glad I was that I had called Stan. He finally had managed to make me feel better. Better than I could have imagined. I knew at that moment that he'd always be the only person that could ever make me feel this good again.

**A/N: So a cute little one shot. I think I may keep putting up a few sporadic Style one-shots. So keep an eye out if you like my writing. Please review so I know what people thought! It was a little cliche, but I hoped it'd be a little less cliche since they didn't confess to loving each other or ever liking the other. (Though I personally do like those fanfics. So I don't have anything against the confessions. Haha.) **

**Hope you all enjoyed!**


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